Pre-Mediation Preparation Checklist
Prepare thoroughly for divorce mediation to make the most of each session. This checklist covers financial preparation, identifying priorities, and setting realistic expectations.
Checklist
Most mediators require both parties to complete financial disclosure forms before the first session. Fill these out completely and honestly. Having accurate financial information is the foundation of productive mediation. Bring supporting documentation for all figures.
Make a clear list of what matters most to you and what you are willing to be flexible on. Distinguish between your positions (specific demands) and your interests (underlying needs). Knowing your interests gives you room to find creative solutions. Rank your priorities so you know what to fight for and where to compromise.
Even if you are using mediation instead of litigation, consult with an attorney beforehand to understand your legal rights and what a court might order if mediation fails. This gives you a realistic baseline for evaluating proposals. Many attorneys offer mediation consulting services at a lower cost than full representation.
Draft a proposed parenting schedule before mediation so you have a concrete starting point for discussion. Consider regular weekday and weekend schedules, holidays, school breaks, summer vacation, and special occasions like birthdays. Think about what schedule truly serves the children's best interests.
Create a spreadsheet listing all marital assets and debts with current values. Draft a proposed division that you believe is fair. Having a concrete proposal facilitates discussion and shows you have thought seriously about reaching an agreement. Be prepared to explain your reasoning.
Prepare a detailed monthly budget showing your expected post-divorce income and expenses. This helps you evaluate whether proposed support and property division terms are financially sustainable. Include housing, utilities, food, transportation, insurance, childcare, and other regular expenses.
Bring documentation to support your financial disclosures and proposals: bank statements, pay stubs, property appraisals, retirement account statements, and debt statements. Having proof at hand prevents delays caused by needing to verify information between sessions.
Mediation requires face-to-face negotiation with your spouse, which can be emotionally challenging. Consider working with a therapist or divorce coach to prepare emotionally. Practice staying calm during difficult conversations and develop strategies for taking breaks when emotions run high.
Tips
- 💡Focus on interests rather than positions. Saying 'I need stability for the children in their school district' opens more options than 'I want the house.'
- 💡Bring a notebook and write down proposals rather than responding immediately. Taking time to reflect reduces emotional reactions and leads to better decisions.
- 💡Remember that mediation is about finding a mutually acceptable solution, not winning. If both parties feel the outcome is fair, the agreement is more likely to be followed.
Get a Personalized Checklist
DivorceIQ's AI tailors checklists to your specific situation and state.
Download DivorceIQFAQs
Common questions about this checklist
This depends on the mediation model. Some mediators work with both parties and their attorneys in the room. Others work with the parties alone and recommend consulting attorneys between sessions. Even if your attorney does not attend sessions, have one available to review proposals and the final agreement before you sign. Never sign a mediated agreement without legal review.
You are never required to agree to anything in mediation. If you feel pressured, ask for a break, request a private session with the mediator (called a caucus), or end the session and consult with your attorney. A good mediator will not pressure either party and will ensure both sides have time to consider proposals carefully. You can always walk away.